Loom Master Gifts

"Are. You. Ready. To. Weeeeave?"

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

'Ok..Ok...I'm putting the lawnmower back in the shed!'

'Told you to get your mower fixed.'

Open Mike for the spotlight operators

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

TV Chef Cooking Range

Dispose of unproductive fruit trees.

'At milking time, I just love the soft hands of the new young farm hand: A nice change from old farmer John's...'

"You said it—everybody heard you."

Loom Bands Craze: 'It's supposed to be a bracelet, Mum.'

A man imagines he looks like a farmer on a tractor on a ride-on mower and

'How damp is this place? Let me put it this way: I use mold and mildew remover as a skin care product.'

Cook for 3 minutes stir, wait 30 years to discover if the contaminated ingredient gives you stomach cancer.

Microwave - 'Table 19 sends compliments to the chef!'

'I think the microwave has finally given up the ghost.'

'Well, when can I have my bike back?'

'What?! I barely touched him! He's pulling the old flopperoo!'

Snow machine spitting out kids toys left under the snow.

Skiing Accidents.

Servant talking to her old master about her new position

The first sign of spring is landscapers driving by and laughing at my unkempt lawn.

"Parting the church lawn and the Red Sea are not exactly the same ."

Woman Weaves a Poem

"A wet winter. but we're making the best of it."

'I'm making pot pie.'

'This has GOT to be good... it's MICROWAVABLE.'

The new microwave has been a great time-saver for Monica, she can burn dinner and still have plenty of time to make restaurant reservations

'She's always got to go one better.' (Two catty ladies knitting, talking about the other lady at a loom).

'Son, now that you're 16, I thought I'd let you drive.'

"I hope you know that by sending me to bed I'm out of the zone now! What's Spanish for big, fat loophole?"

Man cutting grass.

"I'm a superhero for the benefit of mankind. It's my day job in a call centre that pays the bills."