Looking Good Gifts

A bald Lion trying out a new hairpiece.

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

Cariactures

"Say, when did you get so fluff?"

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

'The new lad's collecting shells again boss.'

'Will you please stop feeding the pigeons?!'

'Who gets the decaf?'

"Springtime in New York. Ah, to be young, in love, and probably making two hundred and seventy-five thousand a year."

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

What should we do this fine Sunday? I have an idea. Let's spend the day staring at each other and using pet names. Ahem. You affection is making us ill! They're upset, Monkey Bear. You're so handsome. We're trying to eat!

"I'm sick of watching the same movie every day."

Whale Shark Thoughts...

"Ma'am, why don't you go ahead of me?" "Um... no thanks. Let's let this gentleman go ahead of us." "Oh, no... you ladies go right ahead!"

"This IS my day-to-night outfit"

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

Mall Directory: You are here, but your mind is somewhere else.

'And one and two and let change through and three and four and collapse on the floor.'

"Let me through – I'm morbidly curious!"

'Hey, if you use your imagination a little, doesn't that group of people look like a gathering cumulus?'

"I'm thinkin' blond."

"I wonder what he dreams about...Squirrels I bet."

"The security scanner said I have exquisite feet."

A sign outside a bookstore reads: "Meet the people in the bookstore cafe staring at their laptops 2-4 p.m."

People on the train reading each other's books - only it's the same as their own.

'Does this suit make me look too eager?'

"You have reservations for 7 o'clock? Ideally..."

"Whoa. Check it out, Doug. Your ex-wife is sitting right below us with that dolt she ran off with..."

"I always know what Harry's going to say, and he always knows what I'm going to say, so, by and large, we just don't bother."

A bald eagle approaches middle age

"Of course it's not easy to read the body language of someone who's basically inert."

The successful rubbernecker...

Man in traffic jam watches couple row while eating popcorn.

'We,ve still got it,Fred-it's a pity they don't want it anymore!'

'That guy is SO tacky.'