Long Distance Laugh Seeker Pillows

'Nothing. Zip. Nada... Dude, none of these marathoners are carrying cigarettes!'

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

Bad fake tan day.

"That'll be five bucks."

"Brian's fine. He`s got his own coping mechanism."

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

"Projectile hairballing."

'Ben just fired my ten guage goose gun. He should be coming back this way any minute now.'

"What did Jesus order?"

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

"I'm not a doctor, but I don't think the problem is with your bladder, Bob."

Drunk Barber

"Hey! Get back here!"

he used to belong to a cartoonist

'When Johhny told everyone he was going to be a comedian they all laughed...'

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

'Because I'm so sick of those movies, now go get me a romantic comedy.'

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

"I've always wanted to do this - 'knock, knock...who's there?'"

Football heads...

Bald Man Overcomb

Jerk Gene

"Ok. . . who added the yellow?"

'He's not in now. This is his secwatawy.'

'I don't understand. Why do you want to have your arms extended?'

"From here on out it's term and conditions."

When Stupid People Get an Idea

Comedy Store - Canned Laughter delivery.