Loft Living Gifts

"Hello Loft Living? Could you send a rescue party to suburbia?"

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

Sloaney Pony.

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"The fish sticks here are very good."

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

What say we rough it today and go without ice in our drinks!

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

"See? And you said you couldn't work from home."

Wifi in Hell

Welcome To New York City...Subject to the following conditions.

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

A man sees a leak in his ceiling and drills a hole in the floor under leak to by pass his apartment.

"Why do they call it rush hour when no one goes anywhere?"

Hoodie Hang-out

"Did you remember to take the trash in?"

No Immediate Danger

Apart from protest footage I forget what downtown looks like.

A man is living in small box apartment trying to read a book, but is surrounded by people engaging in noisy activities.

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

'Looks like Reginald wasn't kidding when he said he's going to start urban farming on the roof...'

Packed like sardines

"Manhatten Brooklyn Hoboken Long Island"

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

Is Driving Doomed?

Junk art/ food/ tv/ music/ amusements/ novels/ views/ life.

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

"National Metaphor Day by the looks of it."

Lift buttons read: East Side/West Side/All Around the Town.

“It's $195 million. Now, I know what you're thinking: 'OK, what's the catch?'”

"I can remember when having a '212' phone number still meant something in this world."