Lofethatdarlene Gifts

Bride is angry, as she notices that the groom figure on the cake is drunk.

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

Child about to jump off ironing board into bath.

"When I grow up, I don�t know whether to be a stunt amn or a train driver"

'My diet seems to be working great! Do you have any less relaxed jeans?'

'I am SO getting my ass kicked at the dog park.'

Thank you for purchasing the first modular dressing kid for guys

Guide dog leads blind ski jumper off ramp.

Runs-With-Scissors Boy - Part One

'Therapy in L.A.'

"Next to my two years in the Marines, you're the best thing I've ever done."

"This area is popular with would-be actresses and models,we call it 'Silicon Implants'."

'Do you have eczema?' 'No, only what's on the menu.'

"This isn't a fixer upper. It's a down-and-outer."

"I just love what you've done with the place!"

"Don't eat anything fatty...you're not listening, Fatty...I said, 'Don't eat anything!'"

'Ben wants to join the 'Paratrooper Corps' when he grows up!'

"Bob's more realistic."

"It's 8 a.m. somewhere."

"I have to live with this. My owners are very serious dog lovers."

"That's the diet version. The packaging is so tough, you work up a sweat just opening it."

"It's best just to leave them alone - Over the years, they've come to regard themselves as an elite group of drunks."

"Look, no-one's questioning you loyalty, Pendergrass. But, times are tough so, I'm having you put down."

'Actually, I'm more a boy's best friend than man's best friend.'

"I think what I love most about you are your causes."

"Ms. Hoffman, we're from the SPCA investigating allegations of animal cruelty. Is it true that you force your small dog to wear holiday sweaters?"

"Apparently removing my reproductive organs wasn't enough."

"Looks like Rex is ready for his walk."

Wrinkled pants/wrinkled dog

'Just another young couple out burning the midnight rubber.'

No, just because you're older doesn't mean I should have to wear your hand-me-downs.

"All done...Now, don't you look handsome."

"I'm your camouflage instructor."