Locksmith Laugh Pillows

Bathroom privacy options: A guide.

'Go ahead and laugh, but I lose my keys less frequently than you do.'

Beware of Falling Notice.

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

'We have Vanilla, Chocolate and Strawberry on your choice of Cedar, Oak or Elm cone...'

Well, you and I know it's our home, but our 'smart home' doesn't know it's our home

Bad Interview Technique

'I do have an extra set of keys, they're in the glovebox.'

A classic case of 'Cow-Worm'.

'What do you mean you can't find the key?'

'Could you throw me the car keys?'

''Willie the Wizard' gets out next week -- get ready to change all the locks.'

'Roughly translated it says 'Can't remember the code to get into your pyramid? Call Pharaoh Locksmithing.'

'I've discovered that the rings around Saturn are composed of lost keys, socks and grocery lists.'

Its a poor heart that never rejoices

'What do you mean you lost the keys?'

'What do you mean you've misplace the keys?'

"Hey, there's a spare key hidden under this cloud!"

'Next time you lose the school's keys, please call a locksmith instead of using a blow torch on the door.'

'Thank goodness you got here in time. Frank was going to start without you.'

'Did you remember to lock the house?'

'Next time you lose your keys, please call a locksmith instead of blowtorching the door.'

Welcome mat with large lumpy key under it.

'Joe, would you please throw me the car keys?'

'What do you mean give the boy a house key? He'll lose it, learn how to break in despite our sophisticated security system and be on his way to a life of crime.'

'With all the cars being stolen these days, I went out and bought the strongest security system I could afford.'

'You're the one who called for a locksmith?'

'I'd like you to install a combination lock on our refrigerator door. . .'

'My kingdom for a horse! Are you nuts? How about a key to the city?'

'I see you opened it yourself, but there'll still be a service charge.'

Smaller safes inside bigger safes.

Single contractor in search of intelligent, attractive woman. Send picture of your tool chest.

Oh great. Where are we going to find a locksmith willing to come out on a night like this?

'I want a heavy padlock and two dead bolts on the door.'