Locksmith Humorist Gifts

"I can't find the key. . ."

'Go ahead and laugh, but I lose my keys less frequently than you do.'

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

Well, you and I know it's our home, but our 'smart home' doesn't know it's our home

'I do have an extra set of keys, they're in the glovebox.'

A potter paints a barcode on a pot.

'What do you mean you can't find the key?'

The Mafia Goes Green.

'Could you throw me the car keys?'

'Hello, security.'

"I'm investigating the theft of a breadcrumb by an ant matching your description."

'I've discovered that the rings around Saturn are composed of lost keys, socks and grocery lists.'

'What do you mean you lost the keys?'

Its a poor heart that never rejoices

"She barks once for drugs, twice for weapons, and ten times for candy bars."

'What do you mean you've misplace the keys?'

'Roughly translated it says 'Can't remember the code to get into your pyramid? Call Pharaoh Locksmithing.'

"Hey, there's a spare key hidden under this cloud!"

''Willie the Wizard' gets out next week -- get ready to change all the locks.'

'And don't shrink it in a hot wash.'

"Remember, we're an enlightened group. We victimize everyone. No hate crimes for us."

The Mafia isn't what it used to be...

'Next time you lose the school's keys, please call a locksmith instead of using a blow torch on the door.'

'Thank goodness you got here in time. Frank was going to start without you.'

'Yes, Fluffy was a great dog and to honor her memory, we've decided to keep her name as part of our computer password.'

Welcome mat with large lumpy key under it.

'Next time you lose your keys, please call a locksmith instead of blowtorching the door.'

'I'm always broke because I keep getting MUGGED!'

'Joe, would you please throw me the car keys?'

'Did you remember to lock the house?'

'What do you mean give the boy a house key? He'll lose it, learn how to break in despite our sophisticated security system and be on his way to a life of crime.'

'With all the cars being stolen these days, I went out and bought the strongest security system I could afford.'