Locker Room Avoider Gifts

Group showers. Just one of the reasons few golfers take up football.

"I really have to exercise more. I went from yelling 'Fore' in my 20's, to yelling 'Wow' in my 30's, to yelling 'Ow' in my 50's."

Good luck tonight, xoxo, Coach.

Cat mistakes bars for toilets.

'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'

"I locked the key in the trunk."

When placed in the hands of the right person on a long vacation, even egg salad could be a deadly weapon.

'I found this bag of salad hidden in the locker room - who's is it?'

'We've got a personal hygiene foul! Number 70!... Fifteen yards!!'

'I want to go out of town so that I can become a fully independent person, but near enough so that I can bring my laundry home.'

'Same tragic story...A disgruntled athletic trainer burst into the locker room and starts taping players at random...'

'Aw, come on guys - at the end of the day, it's only a game - right?'

'And don't shrink it in a hot wash.'

"Yesterday's clothes, which weren't quite dirty enough to wash, or clean enough to put away" "The day before yesterday's clothes" "A parcel you have forgotten to send back" "Your sense of inner peace and harmony" "Clothes from the day before that" "A beloved sock, last seen in February 2023"

"Well, once again I find myself all pumped up with no place to go."

You Don't Know What It's Like

'I don't need to exercise to lose weight. The odor in this locker room suppressed all my appetite.'

"He's brutal but considerate - that's his victims' support number, NHS direct."

'Nobody will see it in the sauna. Besides, how bad can your birthmark actually be?'

I don't get it. You can make a goal from one end of the field to the other, but you can't hit the laundry basket six inches away.

'Okay, so we're 4 and 8 this season. Take away those 8 losses and we're undefeated!'

You were great last night

'Relax, the game is over.'

The pair of socks waited confidently in the corner, secure in the knowledge that no matter what happens, no one ever suspects the socks.

"Okay, seriously guys, who's not wearing deodorant?!"

Size matters!

'Athletic Trainer in the locker room...'

"You're in my laundry's favorite seat."

Locker Room. Ernie, on the radio they said your poor play caused eight sacks! What did the coaches think? I guess they were unhappy -- They were the ones the team owners sacked.

Just minutes before the big game Gerald realizes he grabbed the wrong gym bag.

"I was being honest with him, he said he was being honest with me, so now we don't know who to trust."

"Why aren't we staying in a lodge again?"

'I'm just saying - it doesn't help morale.'

"How come you didn't graduate from high school."

'He took a pass and disappeared?'