Lockdown Laugh Seekers Gifts

"It's ok Luigi, they're still 2 metres apart..."

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

"That'll be five bucks."

The only time cats are known to laugh.

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

"Brian's fine. He`s got his own coping mechanism."

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

"Oh we're fine, my husbands just learning to cook during the quarantine."

"What did Jesus order?"

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

Wet Cement. Always the joker, aren't you, Ernie?

'Ben just fired my ten guage goose gun. He should be coming back this way any minute now.'

"Projectile hairballing."

"I'm not a doctor, but I don't think the problem is with your bladder, Bob."

US National holiday

Drunk Barber

'When Johhny told everyone he was going to be a comedian they all laughed...'

he used to belong to a cartoonist

'Because I'm so sick of those movies, now go get me a romantic comedy.'

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

Bald Man Overcomb

"5...4...3...2..."

Football heads...

'When Einstein wrote about time and relativity he must have been watching a football game where the last 30 seconds took two hours.'

"I've always wanted to do this - 'knock, knock...who's there?'"

"Ok. . . who added the yellow?"

"I'd say hi to my favorite teacher, but I think she's enjoying some quiet remote-from-us learning."

When Stupid People Get an Idea

'He's not in now. This is his secwatawy.'

Comedy Store - Canned Laughter delivery.

'I don't understand. Why do you want to have your arms extended?'

Ask Sadie

Frank and Ernie's Classic Cars. '40s - '50s - '60s. Hi! Do you have any cars with fins in the back? Sorry, sir, nothing with Fins in the back -- but there are a couple with Norwegians in the trunk!

Well, that was a total waste of time!