Loan Literacy Buff Gifts

A loan is for life - not just for Christmas!

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

'But Dad, all the other kids get a roth IRA as part of their allowance package.'

'I don't know if money grows on trees, son. I know it doesn't grow in fields.'

So I'm "cheap." It's a perfectly good word. And it aptly describes my interest in conserving resources. I suppose we could call you "thrifty." Heavens no! And waste two whole letters? I see we've only wasted one whole tea bag.

"Unfortunately Daddy already owes the government about 500,000 Pokemon cards."

"And we will absolutely start lending again as soon as we finish building our debtors' prison."

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

'The Truth-in-advertising people want us to call ourselves the 'Sluggish Fund Group'.'

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

"Gee, thanks! What rate of interest does it pay?"

Bingo! Credit card number!! The real reason raccoons like garbage.

"I don't get an allowance. I get earnings per share."

"Cold drinks" "Tesla stock"

'Order fast, folks - the prices have an expiration date.'

"I know it's not in our nature, but we really gotta stop charging everything."

"The time has come to talk of many things; of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of double-entry bookkeeping, too."

"The scammers managed to clear out your entire pension fund."

True Debate Fun

Low standard of living

'Any time you need more, the money tree is here.'

'My own debit card would really be a great way to teach me the value of a dollar.'

'Is my allowance a form of income redistribution?'

They stole your identity, but after seeing your credit score, they gave it back.

"I don't know man. It sounds a lot like a pyramid scheme to me."

Another Degree and Deeper in Debt

"Uh, Dad, I appreciate the 'walkin' around money,' but I need 'walkin' around New York City money.'"

And your repayment period starts...Now!

'The secret of a contented life, my son, is to invest in true low-cost index funds.'

This franchise is great, but what's in it for you?

'I already know about the birds and the bees. Tell me about investing my allowance for capital appreciation.'

After income tax, pension and national insurance I end up owing £450.

"Oh, I'm sorry. That procedure isn't covered. Now, spin the wheel to see what you'll pay."

Investment Books - How to Break Even, for Beginners.