Loan Linguist Pillows

'Which carries a more favorable interest rate, an auto loan or a home improvement loan? My mobile home needs a new transmission.'

"You have a pre-existing condition...your credit score."

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

Torturing the English Language

Thru versus Through Traffic

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

Punctuation Police

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

What's normal?

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

'The Questioner'

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

'Roget it's fantastic, superb, extraordinary...where on earth did you get the idea?'

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

Smith Academy. A Tradition of Excellense.

Ninedency: A budding tendency

Lessons in Prehistory.

'Who teaches apostrophe usage?'

Conflating Science and Grammar. The boy threw the ball. What grammatical role does "ball" play in this sentence? An object in motion!

"Let's fall in love and live in the subjunctive."

"It's a play on words."

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

'Stick them up...'

'There it is, 'Twerk', right next to 'Twerp'.'

Contemporary English Lesson: The Cat was Sat on the Mat.

'Your stab at ordering the wine in French went well.'

'She speaks 6 languages and can't say 'No' in any of them. . .'

Thesaurus Publishing: Out, Not here, Gone, Absent.