Language Lawyer Pillows

Words that can result in employee litigation box.

'They used to make you stand in the corner for saying bad words - Now they suspend you for hate speech!'

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"We've decided that it will be better for his later development if we speak to him only in legalese."

'His idea of campaign finance reform is insisting on small bills.'

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

"And here is the very stone that finally enabled us to figure out what all those dogs and cats were saying."

Actually, Mama was her third word. Buy Now were her first two.

'It says here you can talk trash in five languages.'

'No, no. I told you to look for a precedent.'

Foundation for the Syntactically Challenged

Lawyer sees street sign: Parallel Paralegal Parking.

'Yes, sure, certainly, you bet, of course, yeah, right, yep....'

'I'll accept two potions of white crystalline sucrose in final settlement.'

'You have the right to remain silent and to the counsel of a motivational speaker.'

"I can never remember, does 'barge' have one snake-head jackal, or two?"

'Warspeak department' making up new military terminology.

'K7K industries (an alleged monopoly case under appeal)

Grim Reaper enters classroom where he teaches dead languages.

Evidence board

'It looks like the attorney is going to present his brief.'

"Sure I can help him: I specialize in pirate-talk..."

'I'm afraid he has sweeny flu.'

"Grammatically, the stickman should be behind the deer."

The War Lord at the Front. A morning Tub on the Imperial Campaigning Car.

'No, I'm not interested in hearing a counter proposal.'

'Simply answer the question, yes or no, in as few words as possible.'

'Please don't judge a book by its curse words.'

UK Censors Office...