Linguists Pillows

'Shout louder Dear...he's a foreigner...'

"I blame the parentheses."

I'm sorry, sir, but the bill is correct. The sign says "Kid Seat Free," not "Kids eat free."

Phone Sax.

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

Humanitarian workers on their way to a vowel drop over Kyrgyzstan.

'Too many gaspers kept the turtlers from catching the ridley.'

'A frore basenji was mistaken for a stabile.'

"That would be waitron, sir."

"It says here an increasing number of Brits blog and tweet in Afrikaans. Why?"

Museum of Natural Cliches

". . . and here it is again in Spanish."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

Thru versus Through Traffic

Torturing the English Language

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

Punctuation Police

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

What's normal?

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

'Roget it's fantastic, superb, extraordinary...where on earth did you get the idea?'

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

'The Questioner'

T. S. Eliot Meets Beavis And Butthead

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."