Layoff Linguist Pillows

"You're all redundant."

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

Thru versus Through Traffic

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

Punctuation Police

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

What's normal?

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

'The Questioner'

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

Very Difficult Conversations

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

Lessons in Prehistory.

"Oh, Mrs. Horris, he just said his first words..!"

"Let's fall in love and live in the subjunctive."

Ninedency: A budding tendency

'Who teaches apostrophe usage?'

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

'Stick them up...'

Contemporary English Lesson: The Cat was Sat on the Mat.

'Your stab at ordering the wine in French went well.'

Thesaurus Publishing: Out, Not here, Gone, Absent.

'She speaks 6 languages and can't say 'No' in any of them. . .'

'Now that we've learned to talk, maybe we should establish some speech codes.'