Lizard Whisperer T-Shirts

"I'm an amphibian on my mother's side and a reptile on my father's side."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

'Boy, the fish are really biting today, aren't they, Fred?'

'What motivated you to become a environmentalist?'

Children's Parties

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

Local Knowledge

"Quick, start the car!"

Speed Dating for Turtles

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

Bite out of fishing pier.

'You lifted your head.'

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

'Your shoe's untied.'

Dog Dreams

If a bunch of crazy red headed clowns come out that door...Run like you've never ran before!

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

The Worm Charmer

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

'Don't bite it.I have to check Daddy next.'

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

"Oh well, I guess I'm lucky that he's not a duck hunter."

'You know too much!'

Boy with a whale: 'He followed me home, Dad, can I keep him?'

"My family has been fishing these waters for nearly 40 years. . ."

Ice fisher.

"That is an outrageous slur."

"River well stocked this year."

"That's it, Tom. Here they come. Just keep playing 'Freebird.'"

"She likes to be included, so I told her the tea is called 'Squirrel Grey.'"