Lizard Enthusiast Gifts

'That was very naughty of you to scare daddy by shouting 'Bird'! Now, he needs to grow a new tail...'

Reptiles and amphibians.

The Great Maldini and his Venomous Snakes

Bad news...

Monitor Lizard

Hall monitor lizard: 'Hey! No running!'

"Taxi!...Taxi!..."

"Autumns's definitely on the way!"

'When I ask you to bring a friend, what made you think I meant your iguana?'

"Some of my best friends are black, green, mustard, lavender, orange, blue, and pink."

An excerpt from Cinderella With Lizards

City Zoo: Day Care

Squirrels Stockpiling Mulling Spices for Winter

"It's not the persistent lack of sunlight or freezing temperatures that bother me - it's the crowds I can't stand."

A mother and baby elephant

Football Chameleon

Florida - Still Gay as F**k

Annie, the Reptile version: 'The sun will come out tomorrow! Tomorrow! You will sun yourself tomorrow!'

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

The Age of Reptiles. . .

"Petting zoo" "Heavy petting zoo"

"Eat me"

Sign in Lion Enclosure: 'Please Don't Eat the People.'

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

"He didn't do anything, Gregory. This is a zoo"

"Where do you think we are in the food chain right now?"

'Oh don't worry, we had him defanged.'

Zoo Inc. Management Structure

Castro's successful invasion of miami beach.

"Come on in. The water’s fine!" "Hmm! What’s wrong with this picture?!"

"I'm not a doctor, but I don't think the problem is with your bladder, Bob."

Reptile Class: 'My homework ate my dog.'

Monitor lizard becomes milk monitor.

'He's normally not affectionate, but he's really taken a liking to you!'

'I believe it's time we stopped relying so heavily on instinct.'