Living Arrangements Pillows

'I'll admit that I still live with my mother.'

"In my nightmares I try to cry out but never can."

"... No, I don't think Mummy and Daddy would be happy if you moved in with me. Because I still live with them."

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

A man sees a leak in his ceiling and drills a hole in the floor under leak to by pass his apartment.

Where do you see yourself five years from today, dork-boy? 43 Breen Road. What are you talking about? It's where everyone wants to go. It's the most popular AirBnB in San Francisco. The earliest opening they had was five years from today. Just book a hotel. Hotels are so 2007.

Of course, the rent on the fourth floor is considerably higher.

"So that's where you were last night."

"We've decided to live together."

Cat and Broom

'Mr. Fitzburger, didn't we agree on a no-pets-in-the-apartment policy?!!'

'Oh, honey, what a lovely house... We'll place the couch here, the cupboard there and my psychiatrist right here!'

'No it's still not fixed'

For the musician strapped for space...the Murphy piano.

"How do you know it's my leaves clogging the shower drain?"

"The sellers had a lot of kids, so they got tired of running out of hot water. So they upgraded."

Yeah? Delivery! Come on up!

"You're moving into a place where all the parents live well and all the kids test well."

'Yes, the walls ARE thin, but you'll be happy to know a world-famous rapper lives in the next unit.'

"Would our big tacky objects look good here?"

We're looking for a house with a bigger crawl space… Realty.

"Are you walking the dog? We live on the third floor!"

"Richard P. Ruggles—a man and his mantelpiece."

"No wonder it was so affordable."

"That's not the thrum and rumble of the great metropolis -- that''s the dishwasher."

I think I've been stuck in my tiny apartment too long.

"Could I possibly get a bigger room?" (man bent over backwards).

"I, too, like being festive, but since we live in a nest, space is a factor."

"Sir, you said that it's high time to fix the problem, so I rearranged the furniture, watered the flowers and made fresh coffee. If that wasn't enough then maybe we should find some problems that fit our solutions."

"Is that what you're wearing?"

"Counting the space behind the pantry shelves, it's eleven square feet."

Bob hated using the elevator as much as it hated being used.

'Luxury box.'

"Me? I'm grateful for an indoor bathroom."

"I'm holding up a 'Do not disturb' sign in bed."