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'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

Applause

"Well, he looks alive as of 10 minutes ago, but the stream is frozen."

It's only a remote, dear...if you want better programs you will need a wand.

The commentators want to run the officials...

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

'Theaters from Hell' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'

Football supporters.

As Seen Watching TV

"You'll regret saying that, I'll get my own back in tomorrow's performance - you'll never work again!"

"We can deliver it Tuesday. If no one's home, we'll just slip it under the door."

"The Curse of the robot followers: At first, Rob was thrilled with the all the attention and followers."

'Stop! Don't try to move him until we get his insurance information!'

'Books are okay, except they only get one channel.'

"Let's just binge watch this."

Around the piano

"Well, dad. . . when I was a kid I got in trouble for trampling on the lawn or for beating up others. . . today, I get a lot of money for it!"

"Now that I can watch whatever I want, whenever I want, my life has no structure."

"The season finale of the world is near."

Half time entertainment at many small clubs was a bit basic.

'You did your book report on the TV schedule?'

"this week on, 'Celebrity Fear Factor,' contestants are threatened with total anonymity."

"Can we do this on YouTube live, I need the money for my bail."

'Ready, steady, Operate'

'Dang! Six more hours.'

"I ask the jury, who among us would not have done the same, if given ready access to a huge vat of cheese and a lives streaming social media feed?"

"This new NFL video is great! It factors in the strength of each team's offense, defense, special teams and legal teams."