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Elton John Glastonbury

John Cleese

Zombie standup

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

'Nothing beats seeing your favourite band play live.'

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

Famous Jewish Blues Singer Series.

Theatre Crowd

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

"Free Bird!"

"We have a song, but neither of us can remember it."

"Tong!"

"It's really important to me, as an artist, to make you feel like drinking more than usual so I get hired back."

"Thank you! That last tune took some fancy fingerpickin'. Apologies to those in the front who may have gotten a press - on nail or two in their drink."

Plum jam...

"I've got those 'Don't worry about me, I'll just be here, all alone' blues."

Marcel Marceau's parrot

"Ah yes, I know this bit...it's from the advert!"

Opening night at the circus: "How's everyone's jitters?"

'Theaters from Hell' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'

"Iggy Pop? More like Iggy Grandpop."

Suddenly, Becky noticed something which gave her pause.

"This next song I wrote I won't sing due to political correctness."

"He's got a great future behind him!"

Tenors

The Costumer Is Always Right

'Howard can't come to the phone now. He's standing by for a major concert announcement.'

A man and a woman discussing the skill of the pianist.

Strong Female Lead