Live Performance Junkie T-Shirts

Johnny O'Keefe and Jack Benny.

Zombie standup

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

Anna Calvi

Comedy Cafe

"This next one's another oldie."

Famous Jewish Blues Singer Series.

Theatre Crowd

Mikado

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

'She sounds like your mother when you told her that you were going to marry me.'

See, Catty-O? I told you dinner was included with admission.

"Tong!"

"Free Bird!"

"We have a song, but neither of us can remember it."

Eric Clapton.

"Thank you! That last tune took some fancy fingerpickin'. Apologies to those in the front who may have gotten a press - on nail or two in their drink."

"I've got those 'Don't worry about me, I'll just be here, all alone' blues."

"It's really important to me, as an artist, to make you feel like drinking more than usual so I get hired back."

Plum jam...

Ginger Baker.

"Here's a request from someone who'd like to hear something in tune for a change. Oh, we have a comedian out there, I see."

"Iggy Pop? More like Iggy Grandpop."

Opening night at the circus: "How's everyone's jitters?"

'Theaters from Hell' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'

"Ah yes, I know this bit...it's from the advert!"

"This next song I wrote I won't sing due to political correctness."

'I'd like now to do a blues number, for those of you here on Viagra. It's called - Woke up Early One Morning.'

A man and a woman discussing the skill of the pianist.

Tenors

"When it comes to good, old-fashioned roots music, this guy is the BEST!"

I think we should stick to doing this with a piano.

Chuck played mean hair guitar.

"He's got a great future behind him!"