Live Performance Buff T-Shirts

'That should be an easy act to follow.'

Zombie standup

Showbiz Awards

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

'One eye of newt or two?'

Trump! The Musical

Comedy Cafe

Saint George and the Drag Queen

Famous Jewish Blues Singer Series.

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

Mikado

Deflator mouse

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

A little bird told me...

'She sounds like your mother when you told her that you were going to marry me.'

Theatre Crowd

"It's basically the 'Tragedy of King Lear' but with animated penguins."

"Free Bird!"

"Tong!"

"Of course I'm dressed like a cheap w***e! It's Halloween! Duhh!"

"Avant-garde jazz hands"

See, Catty-O? I told you dinner was included with admission.

"We have a song, but neither of us can remember it."

Masquerade

Macbeth: Take Two

'Popovitch, nobody laughed about you until you fell off the ladder and got trampled down by the elephants. I want you to do that every evening.'

Shakespeare in the Park: "To pee, or not to pee..."

Un ballo in maschera

'Doesn't txt msg make it 38 languages and not 37?'

"I've got those 'Don't worry about me, I'll just be here, all alone' blues."