Live For The Day Gifts

"Good News! It's today again!"

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

"I've no idea. Maybe it's the slumber channel."

"It's an update from the people tracking us. According to this, we haven't gone anywhere or done anything."

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

Lazy Octopus

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

American Idle.

"Well, you both sleep eighteen hours a day, so try to coordinate this to find a window for some quality time together..."

Bill and Lester have a 'Hay Day'.

"Me, as soon as I'm old enough, I'm out of here! I'll go and join my older brother: he's a beach bum in San Diego, California..."

Cat and mouse

Graduates on their phones

"Right now Arnold Schwarzenegger is doing sit-ups."

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

Catatonic

To be honest, I'd just as soon as lay in the yard, but he so looks forward to it.

'well, Fred, I see you're finally embracing technology.'

"Such a refreshing day...I've spent 18 hours between napping and comatose."

'Fixed the leg on the telly yet?'

'Football...Beer...Popcorn...that is Bernie's Stimulus Package.'

'Okay. Time to get up. 1... 2... 3... Go!' - 'Actually, maybe I'll just rest my eyes for a few seconds.' - 'Zzzzz...'

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

'I've never known a dog who gets tired so quickly.'

Gifts from the House of Low Goals.

'I would love to be more energetic, but there is nothing I can do: It's a genetic condition...'

'If it's a universal remote, how come it doesn't work on the refrigerator?'

'I'll set snooze for an extra month.'

"They remove people who have become 'jammed in armchairs' due to COVID 19 lockdown!"

'Hey, there are pedals on this thing!'

"That doesn't look like setting the table to me."

'Sure, they have nine lives, but they spend eight of them asleep.'

How the goat got square eyes.