Live For The Day Gifts

"Good News! It's today again!"

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

"I've no idea. Maybe it's the slumber channel."

"It's an update from the people tracking us. According to this, we haven't gone anywhere or done anything."

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

Lazy Octopus

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

Cat and mouse

"Me, as soon as I'm old enough, I'm out of here! I'll go and join my older brother: he's a beach bum in San Diego, California..."

Bill and Lester have a 'Hay Day'.

"Well, you both sleep eighteen hours a day, so try to coordinate this to find a window for some quality time together..."

"Right now Arnold Schwarzenegger is doing sit-ups."

Catatonic

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

'well, Fred, I see you're finally embracing technology.'

To be honest, I'd just as soon as lay in the yard, but he so looks forward to it.

'Football...Beer...Popcorn...that is Bernie's Stimulus Package.'

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

'Fixed the leg on the telly yet?'

'I've never known a dog who gets tired so quickly.'

"Such a refreshing day...I've spent 18 hours between napping and comatose."

'Okay. Time to get up. 1... 2... 3... Go!' - 'Actually, maybe I'll just rest my eyes for a few seconds.' - 'Zzzzz...'

Gifts from the House of Low Goals.

'I would love to be more energetic, but there is nothing I can do: It's a genetic condition...'

'If it's a universal remote, how come it doesn't work on the refrigerator?'

'I'll set snooze for an extra month.'

"They remove people who have become 'jammed in armchairs' due to COVID 19 lockdown!"

'Hey, there are pedals on this thing!'

"That doesn't look like setting the table to me."

Man with cat on the end of fishing rod, catching fish.

"Do you want to order in or wither and die?"

How the goat got square eyes.