Little Linguist Gifts

Kid to other: 'It's been a crazy day. I caught a bug and tossed my cookies.'

"What? It says 'Tip Jar' so I tipped it over."

'It sure didn't pay to increase my vocabulary that time!'

"We're having company for dinner tonight. Work on some cute remarks."

'All I wanted to know is if that word was naughty.'

A Puppet Named Juan

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

I will study my speling words...

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

'Does this have anything to do with Einstein's theory of relativity?'

Thru versus Through Traffic

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

'Mr. Dawson, about when I said 'don't pull any punches'...'

A Copy Editor and His Dog

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

Punctuation Police

Someone who knows apostrophes

Kid in class corrects teachers spelling.

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

'Roget it's fantastic, superb, extraordinary...where on earth did you get the idea?'

'The Questioner'

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

Wok. Don't Wok.