Little Director Gifts

Tabletop Theatre

"Looks like we found the issue."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

Showbiz Awards

Benedict Cumberbatch

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

'Does this have anything to do with Einstein's theory of relativity?'

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

Golfing Boss

Bo're'droom

Business meeting, CEO is dressed strangely as he asks: 'Any questions?'

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

Billy, can you deliver your show 'n tell this time without the fog machine?

'He had a meteoric rise to the top.'

'We haven't improved quality, but we've made it easier to return.'

"Who gave you permission to ask for a raise?"

BBC - Crisis Management, Damage Control and Liability Supervision.

The Demise of Tinkerbell

Cut!

"I need a little more drama like a ten part mini-series."

'Okay, folks, that's a wrap!'

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."