Litigation Maniac Gifts

'He's been driven mad by reading about all these huge litigation cases...'

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

Daredevil on pc when doing stunt.

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

The Birth of a Lawsuit

"Another slander suit!"

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

Elon Musk in fly me to the moon

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'

'If you can't afford a media adviser the court will appoint you one.'

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to sue, and he'll eat for a lifetime."

'When London Bridge fell down, how much was the contractor sued for?'

"Advertising is a simple business, Nathan. Always remember that less is more, except, of course, for those situations where less is actually less."

'Place your hand on the e-bible and text me a repeat text of my text...'

Law Offices

Law school: 'Repeat after me, class 'sue 'em first, or be sued!'

'Remember, there's nothing to fear, except fear itself and costly litigation.'

"Whereupon the defendant let out a very sharp, hard-edged laugh that fell to the floor and painfully injured the plaintiff's right foot!"

"He said his first word today - compensation."

'I would advise against suing the devil, his lawyers are really good.'

"I'm afraid it's a bad case of libel!"

'Luckily you caught it in time while you're still alive to sue.'

The Washington Arbitrators

'Our new product has increased growth in our legal department.'

'Yes, I have both a law and a medical degree. If you sue me for 'malpractice', I'll sue you for 'slander'.'

"Your suit is without merit, but I admire the effort."

Humpty Dumpty Had a Great Lawyer

"I think I've lost a step with age. Instead of suing I usually just wind up counter suing."

"He said something about being stressed out and not to wake him or he'd sue!!"

'My client was hit by space junk...we need to know who in the world is responsible so we can sue!'