Literature Wizard Gifts

Tesseract of the D'Urbervilles.

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

I will study my speling words...

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

"Bad dog! I've told you to always proofread."

Kid in class corrects teachers spelling.

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

Miss, how do you spell "acceptable"? I've Googled every "e" and can't find it.

'Roget it's fantastic, superb, extraordinary...where on earth did you get the idea?'

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

"I know its hard to believe right now, Lawrence, but some day you'll thank me for asking you to punctuate your sentences correctly."

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

"It's a play on words."

So I'm "cheap." It's a perfectly good word. And it aptly describes my interest in conserving resources. I suppose we could call you "thrifty." Heavens no! And waste two whole letters? I see we've only wasted one whole tea bag.

Ninedency: A budding tendency

"Baldo, you're a very good artist! You should put your talent to use."

'The definition of OBSOLETE: old fashioned dictionaries.'

The Family Joules: Part 21

Conflating Science and Grammar. The boy threw the ball. What grammatical role does "ball" play in this sentence? An object in motion!

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

Woman holds report: 'This has so many different fonts in it, I thougt it was a ransom note.'

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, Kevin. You need to know them so you can Blog.'

'I swear by my spell checker. I have a mental block for spelling. Even 'Hooqued on Foniks' didn't help.'

"Could you repeat that word?"

Man sees door to Thesaurus company that has sign posted: 'Absent Ingesting Comestibles'.

'Now that we've learned to talk, maybe we should establish some speech codes.'

"Letters would be all right if they'd just let us leave them in alphabetical order."

"You can use the alphabet to text. You can use the alphabet to tweet. Why can't you use the alphabet to spell?"