Bookish Wizard Gifts

"I've picked up too many nasty Hobbits."

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

'I have a feeling we are not in Kansas anymore.'

A man on a giant book poses as Rodin's The Thinker.

Library door sign says, 'We have encyclopedias ... the original Facebook!'

Tesseract of the D'Urbervilles.

"Some Debussy, Igor."

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

Good boy

"Would you mind moving to your doggy bed? I'd like to sit in my chair. I know you can hear me. Your book is upside down."

'Can you redo this manuscript, John, and make it less stupid?'

Man read's Newton's 'Philosophiae Naturalis Principa Mathematica' and says: 'Blimey Isaac, this is, er, pretty heavy stuff.'

"Audacity, noun. Unrestrained impudence. Impudence... Impudence... Impudent, adjective. Marked by impertinent disrespect. Impertinent... Impertinent..."

"Oh well, I'm off the see the orthopedist."

"Right! It's a heart op, neurosurgery and counselling. And I'll have the Wiz"

The writer's world

'Why don't we try a renegotiated buyout offer before we go with the Plague of Rabid Bats thing.'

"As your first novel, it starts out badly and just falls away!"

"The magic's still there, but the sex is terrible."

man in suit carries pile of books with sticky notes

"The tests came back positive. You're H2O intolerant."

Crime

"I need some help to write my self-help book..."

"I see the Wizard gave you a brain. That may make you over qualified to work here."

The 'I'm Almost Finished With War And Peace' Bookmark

The Great Banzinni discovers the oldest trick in the book.

Hairy Potter and friend..

'You were Tolkien in your sleep again...'

'Oh Great Oz, know of any openings in the marketing field?'

"Your manuscript is utter trash, of course. How does a half-million first printing sound to you?"

The limits of power

"And then one day I realized I'm just gonna have to settle for liquid courage."

"I'd like something home reared, then meat for the lion, well done, no blood understand? The scarecrow has a seed intolerance and that guy over will eat anything out of a tin."

Drunk And Orderly

We thought everyone would read it, but they haven't got the time.