Book Wizard Gifts

'Can you redo this manuscript, John, and make it less stupid?'

Library door sign says, 'We have encyclopedias ... the original Facebook!'

Pounding speeds up the computer.

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

The president's men

I will study my speling words...

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Bad dog! I've told you to always proofread."

Kid in class corrects teachers spelling.

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

Miss, how do you spell "acceptable"? I've Googled every "e" and can't find it.

'You'll have to take an online company aptitude test, but if you're the designer we're looking for, you've already designed an app for that.'

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

'Roget it's fantastic, superb, extraordinary...where on earth did you get the idea?'

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

"I know its hard to believe right now, Lawrence, but some day you'll thank me for asking you to punctuate your sentences correctly."

So I'm "cheap." It's a perfectly good word. And it aptly describes my interest in conserving resources. I suppose we could call you "thrifty." Heavens no! And waste two whole letters? I see we've only wasted one whole tea bag.

Conflating Science and Grammar. The boy threw the ball. What grammatical role does "ball" play in this sentence? An object in motion!

The Family Joules: Part 21

The Shrinking Dollar.

'The definition of OBSOLETE: old fashioned dictionaries.'

Piano Recital

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

"It's a play on words."

Ninedency: A budding tendency

Woman holds report: 'This has so many different fonts in it, I thougt it was a ransom note.'

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, Kevin. You need to know them so you can Blog.'

'I swear by my spell checker. I have a mental block for spelling. Even 'Hooqued on Foniks' didn't help.'

Thesaurus Publishing: Out, Not here, Gone, Absent.