Literature Strategist T-Shirts

"I only read half of it."

"I didn't want this book to end, so I stopped reading it midway."

'I sent out for everything.'

A Hole in the Dike

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

"I've given up on the novel. There's more money in writing inspirational memes."

"Hurry up with that dictionary!"

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

"Skip the funny voices tonight—O.K., Dad?"

Colin could see that his competitor had obviously done his market research.

Andre Gide.

"Take me to your thought leader."

'It was so romantic. He got down on one knee, showed me the ring, and proposed--right after we exchanged credit reports.'

'Whenever I want to cut my lesson short, I ask the music teacher if she has any hip-hop music for the violin.'

'The cannon will go off every 20 minutes just to make sure you're paying attention,'

A rose is a rose is a rose

"I don't know how this ends. . ."

"Today we will focus on how the author makes the same exact complaints about here life, from her sixth birthday and on."

'Ach, Herr Scrooge - ghost of this, ghost of that...serious delusions.'

'An alternative to having me psychoanalyze you is to write a book and have the critics do it.'

'And that one is the mistake I made in Act II, Scene III, line 14 of Hamlet.'

'A restaurateur prepares macaroni and sells it as pasta. I want you to do the same for the educational program at your school.'

'You have a 9:00 A.M. appointment with your ophthalmologist to check your vision and a 11:00 A.M. appointment with the staff to rally the troops around your vision.'

"My first novel is a prequel of a sequel, it's about time travel."

Anton Chekhov

Contest to enter the University

'Okay, one more blog about the meaning of 'Alice in Wonderland' and then off to sleep.'

"If 'A Tree Grows in Brooklyn' and no one reads it, does it make a sound?"

'We would like to visit with you about the possibility of expanding our franchise...'

Diy section in library

Don't you hate finding out that the kid you copied those test answers from is even dumber than you are.

"When I die, I want to come back at anything except a book of short stories."

'These days my approach is to start with the Booker Prize acceptance speech and work backwards...'