Literary Warrior Pillows

"I don't just want to write. I want to be in literary feuds."

Dear Author: Benign way of saying no. Sincerely, The Editors.

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

Soldier armed with a pen.

"No—You're thinking dog years—Editor years are twice as many."

"Hurry up with that dictionary!"

"This is a test. This is only a test. IF this had been the real world it'd be your job you'd be fighting for, not a letter of the alphabet."

"I wish we were just called T-Rex..."

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

"O.K., she's sitting fown to write in three...two....one...."

"So, what are you reading?"

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

'Bring me another coffee would you...'

'Can you debunk my essay?'

"Ain't isn't a word, and you know it."

Shakespeare working on his "author's bio"

Professor McWit, Didn't Publish, So Perished.

'Coleridge'

Examiners.

'What makes me mad, I was only a couple seats away from all the right answers!'

"Why... are there so many people who never eat pork? Because we have some excellent PR people working on our behalf."

Caricature of Noam Chomsky

"Ted doesn't test well."

Too much homework: kid with two backpacks.

'No, go ahead and critique my mss. I'm always ok ... after the initial reaction.'

"See, that's the problem with you new breed. You take rejection too personally."

"That Melinda Alvarez thinks she's so smart! Well, I've been studying, and I'm gonna teach her a lesson on the test we have today!"

'I'll pause for your moans and groans.'

'126,000 words done...now I just need to work out what order to put them in.'

"Hi...I was just phoning to see if you got my e-mail?"

"The coffee is free, but now we rent the tables."

"Joyce Carol Oates seems to have no trouble coming out with book after book."

Science vs. Literature, an Eternal Battle.

"You know you're in trouble when you stop praying for the answers and start begging."