Literary Style Gifts

"Arthur and I both like books with unreliable narrators. The problem is that he only reads nonfiction."

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

"You're going to hate yourself."

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Meet The Author"

'If you were disturbed by any issues raised, please call your mum.'

The Bookworm

Thomas Mann.

Edgar Allen Poe

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

"Do me next."

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

First Novels.

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

"Meet the author"

Nathaniel Hawthorne

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.