Literary Arts Gifts

'I've gotten quite a bit out of that creative writing class. I think I'll become a literary agent.'

"I got those famous last words you wanted"

A Puppet Named Juan

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

"You're going to hate yourself."

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Meet The Author"

'If you were disturbed by any issues raised, please call your mum.'

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

"Meet the author"

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

Edgar Allen Poe

Nathaniel Hawthorne

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

The Bookworm

"Do me next."

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

Tut and Carmen.