Literary Oddball Gifts

Man looks worried, as his fellow castaway reads book: 'Cannibalism for Dummies'.

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

Tonight: Wagner's Ring Tone Cycle.

"Life after death"

"We pride ourselves on defying expectations."

Unbeknown to others, Thoreau would sometimes, in the middle of the night, sneak out for a few odds and ends.

'Does it bother you that I use wadded tissues as pillows?'

Book signing The Art Of Forgery - "Gee thanks, Oprah Winfrey."

"I've got buck teeth, an overbite, big ears, pink eye, a harelip, and I live in a hole. She must love me!"

After exhaustive auditions, Rudy Park hires a new writer. You should've seen the brawl that broke out between Rowling, Twain and Watterson. They all really wanted the gig … until they heard what it pays. So who'd we hire? Darrin Bell. The guy who draws us. That clown? Shhh!! What? I'm not afraid of him. To be continued …

"Well, well, well, if it isn't the Little Mermaid."

Older cousin press

"Oh, that Jane. I thought you were talking about Jane Austen."

'Excuse me. Could you point me towards the books that would look impressive on my bookshelf?'

4 pm MEET THE COPYCAT AUTHOR

The Jacques Cousteau Story

'Your entire library consists of nothing but TV Guides bound in Corinthian leather?'

Perusing The Bookshelves For Cute Cats

Mouse reading magazine, "Mouse and garden"

'Only caudate moas are pukka.'

'I'd like a full report on my office paint job.'

Book about the real meaning of Christmas is on sale.

Track & Field & Stream

'Look! More roaches.'

"Anyway, long story short, I'm a believer in the old adage 'Do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life,' so that's why I became an insurance adjuster."

'Due to a shakeup at network headquarters, this is the Evening News with Fred the Janitor....'

"I thought she was being shy. It turns out she's a doom-dayer!"

'This book changed my life. I stole it.'

Man with deflated sex doll at air pump.

'I call it 'Research Paper Lite.' It contains a third fewer facts, but you'd never know it.'

"If it's all right, I prefer the name Dave."

The Other Human Centipede

"How come you're never on anybody's short list?"

Welcome to our book group.

"I'm over here."