Literary Lineage Appreciator Pillows

'I'm actually Farnsworth Huddleson the fifth. The first was an obscure character in a Dickens novel.'

"Meet The Author"

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

First Novels.

The Dorrie Decimal System

Blue Stockings

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

Voltaire

"Now I really hate poetry."

'He likes to power nap.'

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

John Bunyan

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

Joan Hickson

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

"I'm in a catch-23 situation."

Don Quixote

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

"Not that I have the time, but I enjoy reading."

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

George Orwell

Eurydice is bitten by a snake

'You have to Marvell eh - 'annihalating all that's made to a green thought in a green shade.''

Trilby - 'Je prong!'

"Author does not do tricks."

"Oh, this old thing?"

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

Sue the Author 3PM

"I don't care if it is itty-bitty. Turn it off!"