Literary Laureate Gifts

Dante Alighieri

Hermann Hesse

"Congratulations on your Pulitzer. Now, let's revisit the university's contract offer."

Samuel Beckett

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"You're going to hate yourself."

Victor Hugo

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"Do me next."

Jean-Paul Sartre

Honoré de Balzac

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

Distractions Of The Great

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

J. R. R. Tolkien

'Charlotte's Website' ('The children's book classic rewritten for the electronic era!')

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

The intellectual.

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

Iris Murdoch

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

"It's basically the 'Tragedy of King Lear' but with animated penguins."

Turning Japanese: I really think so.

Thomas Hardy

Jack London

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

"I got those famous last words you wanted"

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

Of Mice and Men.

"I'm in children's books, myself."

Alice in Wonderland - Painting the Rose Tree.

Lord Byron