Literary Hype Analyst Pillows

'Like to read, huh? Me, too. I'm a big reader. I just finished a book by Brown. You know Dan Brown? Great writer...'

"Meet The Author"

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

The Dorrie Decimal System

Blue Stockings

'He likes to power nap.'

"Now I really hate poetry."

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

John Bunyan

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

"Well, we needed the rain."

Don Quixote

Trilby - 'Je prong!'

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

'You have to Marvell eh - 'annihalating all that's made to a green thought in a green shade.''

"Oh, this old thing?"

Sue the Author 3PM

"Not that I have the time, but I enjoy reading."

"Gone with the wind with cats" "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." "Me neither, who cares—let's take a nap."

"I don't care if it is itty-bitty. Turn it off!"

A Footnote - Self Portrait of Beardsley, Bound to the God of Nature

'Tarzan interviewing for a position as a corporate lawyer.' An interviewer asks, 'When we go against the gorillas, how can we be sure that you won't forget which side you're representing?'

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

Treasure Island Book.

"Barb's such a fast reader."

"It's felt to be his most thought provoking work."

What would Charlotte Bronte do, she thought to herself.

Moby Dick

'The pile of unread books by the bed looks bigger than the futon...'

It was the best of times, it was the wasrtn blanfil trmsl... It was the bnarfy foodel pook. Arghh! Darn reader's block.