Literary Guilt Tripper Pillows

Best sellers. New releases. Books you still haven't finished yet, Claire.

'I have access to thousands of books with the push of a button...of course I feel guilty about not reading the Classics!'

Stephen Spender.

'There's no art to the mind's construction on Facebook, Macbeth.'

'Well, now we know why Dracula's been getting all the girls lately.'

"This makes Pamplona seem like child's play."

This is Dr. Sadie, what's your question, caller? I just found out my wife got a bonus at work. But instead of buying gifts for my mother and my six brothers, she flew to Maui and sent me a photo of herself eating a seven-course meal. Stop whining. She's given you the best gift a spouse can give ... Something to hold over her head for the rest of your lives. Well ... There is that, I guess.

Tell me about it--last night I ate a whole sleeve of Communion wafers.

''Science moves but slowly, slowly, creeping on from point to point'. Tennyson.'

"I'm a monster."

Al Dante

Mad Hatter's tea party.

I'm doing my essay on John Milton's "Paradise Lost"...the video game.

"To 'click to enter' or not to 'click to enter'… that is the question."

I can't decide what to read, Gourmet or Weight Watchers.

covid mask - Lend me your ears

Modern Day Hamlet.

Samuel Pepys' writer's block

Mom's Diner: I do and do and do for you and what thanks do I get? How about your business? Is that too much to ask?

"It's my day off."

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I ruin it for you by saying it was the butler who did it? Such a good book..."

A Donut Ride Outside of a Police Station

"He goes to the bathroom a lot. Where did you get the kidneys?"

'Beware the Ides of March... He bites.'

My Gay Son Never Calls

"Oh, that Jane. I thought you were talking about Jane Austen."

"If you're as smart a refrigerator as they say you are, you'll keep your mouth shut about this."

Drama Queen.

"You know, you're not just cancelling a magazine subscription. You're stabbing print media in the back!"

"We always see a spike after April 15th."

The Food of Shame.

Introducing...Superegoman!

A book on surrealism...

Plato and Socrates, the Vaudeville Years

"One side of the mushroom will make your document darker, the other side will make it grow lighter."