List Non-followers Gifts

'A coconut, a jar of pickled pig's feet, five pounds of leeks, a dozen owl eggs. . . you lost the list I gave you, didn't you?'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Punk Reindeer

2016 election squabbles!

'Can you fetch all of these but leave these others alone?'

The Clinton Campaign, post-mid-September

Pollster

Elections in the USA

"Hot off the wire! In the latest poll, 99% of voters say they will be glad when the election is over... The poll has an error rate of plus or minus 2%."

"I know it seems cruel, but it's the only way for him to get rid of that silly technophobia."

The Great Divide.

"Do you have a pill that relieves anger, nausea, depression and distrust? I plan on watching the presidential campaign."

Cruz and Fiorina: DetesTED and DetestETTE

"C'mon, Hillary – just answer the question!"

'It's not my job to worry about the 47% of Americans who are irresponsible. Wait I didn't state that very elegantly. It's not my job to worry about the 47% of Americans who are irresponsible.'

'Oh, we could reduce the deficit, but it'd just leave stretch marks.'

"Here is the campaign strategy and here are the after-the-fact excuses."

Media Reports: Vast majority of Americans agree - 'Country is going in wrong direction'...

"What do you consider your most attractive feature and what are you doing about it?"

"I hope it misses us!"

Elections race.

Senator Yomp has the backside for fence straddling.

'Gloria hates sports bars. Guys always make a pass at her.'

Trumpelstiltskin: "I can spin straw into gold."

2020 US president

"The Blueberry Bagel, having triumphed on the East Coast, heads West."

Campaign 2010.

'Let me not answer your question this way...'

'Say, this is interesting.'

"Let there be jobs!"

'And don't forget to poke these political ad writers with a sharp stick every so often. It keeps them primed to write those vicious attack ads for the upcoming campaign!'

TV Time

With my economic policy, you'll all be able to maintain your standard of living! Vote. I was afraid of that.

Independents still undecided.

I'm your ghost twitterer. It's a marketing vehicle for your radio show. You're stealing my identity because if you used your own, no one would follow your tweets! You've got 3,000 followers. They're living to read about your every movement. Beating on pause. Beating on pause.