Liquid Maestro Gifts

Bach Doubles

On August 14, 2011 at app. 2:00 p, Derek Winslow made scientific history by converting an item of the animal kingdom into an item of the plant kingdom.

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

"He's such a fussy eater."

Mother puts extra long dummy in babies mouth.

A Tit for Tat.

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

'I lost a fight with a mud puddle.'

Pull the udder one

'Cracked nipple? But I didn't even drop you.'

Teacher getting the childrens attention by pretending to be on television.

Computer Music

"Baldo, do you have a summer reading list?"

Pig and chicken asking for milk from cow, who replies: 'Sorry, I already gave at the office.'

"These days I do a little sub-editing on the side too!"

"I'm addicted to water."

Timmy Works with His Pet Cow

'There's more information available now than ever before. I can only block out so much of it.'

'There are no search results for Pomeranian on the Foodnetwork.'

'Forget about 'who,what,when,where,why,how'...Instead 'Will it sell papers...attract advertisers?'

'Are you trying to tell me that neither of you get penalty rates for the 2 a.m feed?'

Garden Centre: Bonsai trolleys.

"Wait. Let it breathe."

These remarks are completely off the record

"It turs out my milk is actually aging cream...so, I use it to remove all those ugly age spots."

"Our love is magical. In other words, a grand illusion."

"When you quote a Presidential candidate, Gorman, you do not—I repeat—do not roll your eyes."

"How do you respond to critics who claim you're just trying to scare people?"

'I will now play a selection of digital audio files I downloaded today.'

Happy Birthday! I wasn't sure what sort of music you like...

"We like your determination to develope a new investment strategy."