Liquid Diet Enthusiast Pillows

"Dinner is poured."

All Natural Nothing

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

'I've found a way to improve on light beer!'

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

Lightest beer on the market. Carbonated with helium.

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

'Id like to see you in two weeks. Try not to eat during that time.'

"Excuse me, Father...is the host gluten-free?"

"I'm addicted to water."

'Who took the cork out of my lunch?'

'Bottled water or other non-carbonated diet beverage!'

Wishing Well

"You forgot my Diet Cola."

Diet Cud

"I programmed the refrigerator to hide from you in between meals."

Nyargh! - 'I swear I will never eat fibre again...' - 'I christen thee 'Titan'.'

'I had the same thing for lunch.'

'Have your daily bread every other day.'

The Diet Fairy is here to grant you three dishes. . . as long as they're under 350 calories each.

"No wonder he's so skinny - he eats like a bird."

"You're really serious about that diet!"

"Hey, honey. Are we ona diet again?"

"Try to get more exercise."