Linguistic Tricksters Pillows

'Don't tell him I can't speak, French. He's paying me to translate his girlfriends letters.'

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

"Ahhh....I think that was a flying fuck."

"I just need help getting the pit out."

"My nephew Jack here can say ‘I’m unemployed’ in seven languages."

"Shred the plank."

"I must insist on my lawyer present."

A man looking into a mirror saying "HA!"; his reflection looking back at him from the mirror is saying "!AH".

We pay the maximum minimum wage.

(Mother Goose: playboy's Mirthful Master of the Macabre serves Up Some Strange Twists On a Clutch of Children's Classics.) "Is this supposed to be somebody's idea of a joke?"

Supermarket: Leafs, Rail Leafs

Wordplay: Mandate - Escort Agency.

Time Table

"We don't have knock-knock jokes on Christmas."

"It's good to see that... ...Tia Carmen teaching Gracie valuable family traditions passed down through the generations."

'I'd do better if I knew all the words you know!'

'Unethical advertising uses falsehoods to deceive the public. Ethical advertising uses the truth to deceive the public.'

A dog lights a cigarette, blows 3 smoke rings, then jumps through them, as if through hoops.

"Turn to page 12 for our non-binary singalong."

Ventriloquist's fete

"I'm ready to play Hide and go Seek."

Fitz wasn't sure if this was a legitimate rescue or just more culinary trickery.

"May I remind the faculty that, in the event of a nuclear strike, atom bombs take a gender-neutral pronoun."

'Thank you for calling the bullpen,,, To continue in English, Press one,,,'

"The Founding Fathers?! Ha! That’ll never stick!"

"He fights me when I tell him to take a nap. When I reword it and say go reboot, he doesn't have a problem."

"Can you believe English isn't the official language here?"

"Good ephening."

'They argued over the ordering of a cutty sark.'

Handicap

Parisian Bohemians - Proprietor of a rabbit restaurant catching stray cats

'Watch this - I told him the correct pronunciation of Pinot Noir is peanut noyer.'