Linguistic Jester Pillows

"...and our new drugs - Palistilap, Orfinifro and Kyriltliryk - are all palindromes."

"Dude! I'm writing a letter to my parents. How many N's in money?"

"Can you believe English isn't the official language here?"

A man looking into a mirror saying "HA!"; his reflection looking back at him from the mirror is saying "!AH".

"Good ephening."

'Just entering the lupanar gave the fud polypnea.'

Time Scales

D - Drew: Past tense of Draw, there was a short silence in the room as the Captain drew thoughtfully on his large Cuban cigar.

Wordplay: Import.

Modern spelling.

'Thank you for calling the bullpen,,, To continue in English, Press one,,,'

Supermarket: Leafs, Rail Leafs

Wordplay: Intermission.

'The prinker liked to japan his krimmer.'

"I can handle the 'Gobble,' but you're going to have to find someone else to translate the 'Dygook' part."

Handicap

"Turn to page 12 for our non-binary singalong."

"They say we have an outstanding balance." "Well, I try to excel at everything I do."

Wordplay: Database.

Palindrome grave

Inn and Outt.

'Does spelling count?'

'We don't say 'fixed'. We say, 'gender-neutralized'.

Man on phone: 'Oh, nothing exciting Benny, just on my way to pick up my Birthday suit. And you?...'

'Psych!'

'For twa dalasi you can buy a lungi in New Delhi.'

'They argued over the ordering of a cutty sark.'

"This manga was on the bottom shelf!" "That's a mango."

"Kirby, cut the horseplay! Royer, no more monkey business! Coletta, quit your pussyfooting!"

"My nephew Jack here can say ‘I’m unemployed’ in seven languages."

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."