Linguistic Lifeguard Pillows

"Grammar-police, sir, we have some questions about your online posts and the inappropriate use of apostrophes."

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

'No swimming. No breathing.'

"Ooooh, I bet that feels nice."

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

Wordplay: In The Bag.

In a cycle - one bucket out, one bucket in.

Cat Burglar

Baby on board.

Doggone

Bathing-men attend to women on the french coast

Man is caught swimming on an inflable float in a moat by the knights.

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

Roget's Pet

'This seashell does not sound like the ocean... It sounds like someone yelling 'Look out!''

'Swimming is the healthiest sport. . . Because it's the only one where you can't smoke while you're doing it.'

"We first met on the beach. He was a lifeguard and I was a poor swimmer."

"We're here to recharge our batteries."

Swimming Prankster

Driving on the Beach - Lifeguard on a hydraulic lift.

Saved...life is good!

'I don't think that this whale is beached.'

Malaprop Man! Adventures. Malaprop Man! Where have you been? At a stupor her comet confection! Did many of your fellow heroes show up? We had a great turnabout! Backman and the Incredible Bulk were there! So was Caption Americ, the Flush, Wander Woman and Plasterman! Very impressive. Who was the most popular with the fans? I think I was the main distraction! I have no doubt at all about that!

S.P.F. 1,000

'Do you always have to shout? Well? Do you? Huh?'

'You don't think you're just a tad overprotective?'

Early man wasn't exactly enthusiastic about the development of language.

'Diver caught scallops - is that a description of what happened or a compound adjective'

Lifesaver!

Irritable Vowel Syndrome: "EEEIIIOOOAAA AUUUEEE!!"

Jesus sighted walking off Malibu

"I said, 'I'm not on duty! I just came back to get my flip-flops.'"

'Relax, dude - I got your back.'

The Oxford Comma Coin