Linguistic Innovator T-Shirts

'Instead of cubicles, we call them interconnected productivity centres.'

'Of course I can spell -- I just can't spell conventionally.'

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

Why we need poetry. . .

'the selling of seashells by the seashore was sluggish.'

His Hers Pers Vis Xyrs Hirs TBD

'I'm going to add to the confusion. I'm going to sign my name upside-down.'

"Well, I've emailed, faxed, and phoned Dobson. Maybe I should just walk down the hall and talk to him..."

'I don't like to brag, but I'm the guy who coined the phrase, 'Honey, I'm Home'.'

"Wow! That's some PowerPoint presentation."

United Church of OMG

"'Parent' should always be an action verb."

'It says here you can talk trash in five languages.'

The Nanuit Have 2,027 Words For Snow, But, After Awhile, They Just Talk About Something Else...

Reading: Phonics. Using phonics, you learn to read by the sounds of letters. Any questions? Yes. Why does "phonics" begin with "p-h" and not with "f"?

A Semicolon.

'You failed your Latin exam! But Sweety, it's important to learn Latin: All your friends' names have Latin roots...'

A 'DIVERSION' sign points to a crazy guy.

"For today's lesson, you're going to teach me about pronouns."

Apostrophe. . . Apostropher

'I don't like this part. 'Please find enclosed the inclusion of my enclosure'.'

"What does 'inexplicable' mean..?"

Social Networks.

Frenchman Speaking to Englishman

Yep, that's me in a pea pod! In a pea pod�?? I think "nutshell" has been vastly overused.

'Her being multi-lingual has it's drawbacks I'm afraid-she nags me in SIX languages!'

Now that we've invented language, we have to be careful not to get quoted out of context.

What's a twelve-letter phrase for "modify anger"? "Temper temper"!

The Emergence Of Language

"You don't need to sacrifice good grammar in order to talk dirty."

"It's just force of habit. When I say 'cavemen' I of course mean 'cavepersons'."

'I find the easiest way to expand my vocabulary is to make up words.'

Simultaneous translation.

'And is this young lady your fiasco, Mr. Jones?'

"The creative writing part is that I've created new ways to spell words."