Linguistic Connoisseur T-Shirts

'I'm NOT a pedant.'

Tomatoes 45 cents/lb. Tomahtoes 65 cents/lb.

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

"We've decided that it will be better for his later development if we speak to him only in legalese."

'I've been called some mean things as a baby boomer, but 'Pig in the Python' really hurts.'

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

Wordplay: In The Bag.

'Apparently the stag party has gone into extra time.'

'Whoooa,MAN,check out this STORM! It's PELTING down!'

"Pardon me, Vito, but I'm holding the talking stick now."

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

'Amscray,fuzzbrain - no carnivores allowed

'The definition of OBSOLETE: old fashioned dictionaries.'

"He's a guard dog."

'It's our own consumer confidence test. Throw some nickels out and if they're picked up in 5 minutes confidence is really low!'

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

"I know! I know! I K-n-o-w!. . . Um, what was the question?"

The Gettysburg Address in process.

'Stick them up...'

Henry the amazing talking dog.

"It lost a little something in translation."

"We are gathered here to morn the passing of Bob Opossum."

Men gossiping

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

'This is the fun part...waiting to find out just what we've ordered.

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

'Your resume and interview were so bad, not only did you not get the job, I'm having you arrested as well.'

"OK, now another guy found a feather in his soup! One of you is molting, and I need to know who!"

Surprised chicken: 'I know. I can't believe it either.'

'I made a hundred on the Spanish test. Gracias.'

"Oui, c'est bon. It is, how you Americans say, 'Magically Delicious'."

'Alphabet soup? What's alphabet?'