Lineup Laughter Fan Gifts

"Do you recognize the one who stole your tractor?"

Mikado

'I've been a nervous rex all day.'

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

The return of the four sheepskins

"I'm sorry, but your child just isn't very sharp. But don't worry. It's perfectly natural."

"It's funny 'cos it's true!"

'What have I told you about laughing on purpose, Mother?'

Spinning violinist

"I'm very highly strung!"

Produce Fuji Apples. I told you that's not how "fudgey" is spelled.

"The good news is he costs a quarter of what a string quarted would; the bad news is that, of course, he's suffocating."

"All her other suitors could sing and dance of course, but Mummy chose me because I made her laugh as well..."

Yeti/Not Yeti

"Open mike night"

'So far he's self-taught but we thought it time to engage a regular teacher.'

Musical Discord

'The Angina Monologues'

Tour de Pothole.

'Stay out of this Piano Man, I got no beef with you. But you - I don't like yer tone one bit.'

Quatre-mains

"My handicap is the water, trees, windows, the highway..."

McTV, 'It's all singing commercials.'

Tim Minchin

'OK, who's that at the back not clowning around?'

Sea Bass

Feedback Card: How was your death?

Things that don't last 2 seconds...the idea that your l'il sis might actually be good at something.

'Don't worry about it, Son — Kleptomania runs in the family.'

Musical Cats

"Relax, relax. There's plenty more where that came from."

Hospital patient using his thermometer on the remote control.

Piano Removers.

"I think we need to have that talk to explain how bad stuff happens in the world."

'He'll not be writing any more quick-fire gags now he's crawling along at that speed, eh, Ern?'