Lovers Of Laughter Gifts

Produce Fuji Apples. I told you that's not how "fudgey" is spelled.

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

Clown's Comedy Fart.

"I don't know whether to be mad that you had water this whole time or impressed with your commitment to the joke."

"Why can't you just learn to floss like other men?"

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

'I AM a magician! When I wake up granddad from his nap, I turn Gramps into Grumps!'

King and Jester

'She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me...'

'I'm calling this a plate and I already have service for six. Six more and I can invent the dinner party.'

"It's funny 'cos it's true!"

'You're right...these are your hormone pills. Thank goodness we noticed before anything serious happened.'

'Whoops. There goes one of my prostheses.'

Clown's knee reflex sends doctor through ceiling

"I'm sorry I really can't take you seriously."

"You were ho-ho-hoing in your sleep again!"

"Returns"

"Ok, ok, how's everyone feeling tonight besides a thousand dollars poorer?"

"Well, I deal with death and carrion every day: Laughing is a therapeutic way of avoiding depression..."

"Sir? - it's clowntime."

'Right, now learn this trick...'

Jackson Pollock's short-lived career as a kid's party face painter.

"…And what do you think the cracker might represent?"

"...dry your eyes, m'boy, and always remember: Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Weep, and the world laughs AT you."

'A friendly reminder, Mr. Parker: There's only room for one long, raucous, 'what-a-stupid-question' laugh in this company, and it's not yours.'

'I've written you a song' - 'Oh, that's very kind of you. What's it called?' - 'It's called 'I'll stay with you forever baby.'' - 'How sweet. Let me hear it...' - 'Ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai,

'Well, so far the only ones to answer our fondue party invitation are the rats in our basement.'

Road signs of Aging

"Over the long haul, it's been a long haul."

'How can you stand to listen to dozens of crazy people and stay sane?' - 'Who listens?.'

"You're not in the gym Gary!"

"I'm suffering from TeaParytyitis."

'I told him that's where we keep the keys to his ride.'

Wanted: dishwasher or handsome rich guy.

"I love you the way the French love Jerry Lewis."