Line Jokers Pillows

"You're not going to eat me are you? Have you never heard of mad worm disease?"

"May I put you on hold? I was on another line."

"You don't mind the psychometric test, do you?"

Photobooth Photobomb

'Oh good! - I hate long lines!'

"So how long have you been working the business?"

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

'For pity's sake stop that infernal humming!'

'Its simple: we're the nanotechnology department.'

'In a slight change to the programme, the second year jazz quartet aren't playing 'Hello Dolly'. They are however playing truant!'

'How could I have missed these? I took a multivitamin.'

'My sales training was right. The person in the highest chair is dominant.'

'I preferred my old title of Executive Vice-President.'

"The first goal of our ad hoc committee should be to learn Latin."

'Hold on, there might be someone more interesting on the other line...'

Musical Accidents

'When did the treadmill replace the rat race?'

"At least you made it into the hallway."

"The 'Ex' huh?"

'Try re-installing your system software and turn off any file extensions.'

'And make sure you use the AUTOMATED teller, you old goat!'

"He worked his way up from kicking the vending machine."

'No smoking near the building Higgins!'

No more bribes - today.

'Last week I offered to bring Bixby into the decision-making process, and he's still dithering about it!'

"I can't believe you guys would do this for me rather than make me more money."

"So gentlemen, new ship, new crew, what say we start our inaugural team meeting with an ice-breaker?"

'Well, well, well - so today is your 50th anniversery with the company, eh? The company my dear old Dad founded way back in the fifties - Go ahead, help yourself to some biscuits.'

"This is called silent tennis? It's like regular tennis without the racket."

'And why do you think that people don't take you seriously?'

'They no longer award retirees with a gold watch, so I got the time-clock!'

"This is the director of our customer loyalty program."

"Oh, the doctor told you not to work so hard, did he?... And does the doctor pay your salary?!"