Line Jokers Mugs

"You're not going to eat me are you? Have you never heard of mad worm disease?"

"May I put you on hold? I was on another line."

"You don't mind the psychometric test, do you?"

Photobooth Photobomb

'His 5 hour energy drink timed out. If only he had taken it 3 seconds later.'

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

'For pity's sake stop that infernal humming!'

"So how long have you been working the business?"

Giggle.

'Oh good! - I hate long lines!'

'Its simple: we're the nanotechnology department.'

'In a slight change to the programme, the second year jazz quartet aren't playing 'Hello Dolly'. They are however playing truant!'

'How could I have missed these? I took a multivitamin.'

'I preferred my old title of Executive Vice-President.'

'My sales training was right. The person in the highest chair is dominant.'

"The first goal of our ad hoc committee should be to learn Latin."

'Hold on, there might be someone more interesting on the other line...'

'When did the treadmill replace the rat race?'

'Try re-installing your system software and turn off any file extensions.'

Musical Accidents

"At least you made it into the hallway."

"The 'Ex' huh?"

'Last week I offered to bring Bixby into the decision-making process, and he's still dithering about it!'

"I can't believe you guys would do this for me rather than make me more money."

No more bribes - today.

'And make sure you use the AUTOMATED teller, you old goat!'

'No smoking near the building Higgins!'

"He worked his way up from kicking the vending machine."

"So gentlemen, new ship, new crew, what say we start our inaugural team meeting with an ice-breaker?"

Pinata Pranks

'Well, well, well - so today is your 50th anniversery with the company, eh? The company my dear old Dad founded way back in the fifties - Go ahead, help yourself to some biscuits.'

'And why do you think that people don't take you seriously?'

'They no longer award retirees with a gold watch, so I got the time-clock!'

"This is the director of our customer loyalty program."

"Oh, the doctor told you not to work so hard, did he?... And does the doctor pay your salary?!"