Lincoln Lover Pillows

'Gramps, I'm studying ' Life of Abe Lincoln,' but I need help from someone who was actually there.'

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

'It's a note...It says I.O.U. one pot of gold.'

Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster have some fun with the tourists...

Lady of the bath...

Here be dragons.

The Gettysburg Address in process.

"I don't care what you thought you saw,l there are no such things as people"

"Oh, this? Crazy story..."

'Good work pulling the sword from the stone. Now, how 'bout loosening the lid on the magic pickle jar?'

"I miss the Augean stables."

Myths and legends...

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

A trevor of trainspotters

A Knight Arrives at a Boiling Lake Filled with Monsters (Don Quixote).

'He misses his garden when he's on holiday'

Beginning Yarder.

"My farewell gift!"

'Just a couple more and we'll call it a day.'

Zorro as a child.

'This it is, Ferguson! Finally, we found the legendary, mysterious snowmen crematory!'

"I propose legislation to simplify Brexit - the Americans are having a hard time following it."

Sir Lancelot finds the Holy Quail

'You pulled a sword out of a stone and they made you King? -- is that constitutional?'

Bigfoot tracks...

Odysseus starts regretting his return to Ithaca.

Scotsman in the bath...

'Egad! It's the ghosts of sanity past!'

Visual Gag: Dracula reading a Fang Shui book. The Vampires version of 'Feng' Shui

"We received another message from that scoundrel Robin Hood, sire!"

"Hang on - I'm not as young as I used to be. . .!"

Meryl Streep

'It's a bit demoralising when the Sheriff can claim it all back on expenses.'